now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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