piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize