so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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