Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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