so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
