i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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