You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize