I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
