went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
