I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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