she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
