thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
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