I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
