Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
