she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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