there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
