The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
