Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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