I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
