I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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