I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
