I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
