yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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