careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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