My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
