Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
