So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
