I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
