so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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