so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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