how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize