i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
