Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
