Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
