Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
