We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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