At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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