I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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