Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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