idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.