whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
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There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!