I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!