I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course