Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant

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(425): be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/mya3

Replies (36) Good night (846) Bad night (4766)
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(907): View more from Alaska

It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

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(907): It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am. http://tfl.nu/0rxk

Replies (36) Good night (1061) Bad night (5612)
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(408): View more from California

You drunk yet?

(925): View more from California

Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

(408): View more from California

Cant make any promises.

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(408): You drunk yet? (925): Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them. (408): Cant make any promises. http://tfl.nu/jm9i

Replies (9) Good night (4753) Bad night (609)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.

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(308): whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on. http://tfl.nu/zd9d

Replies (28) Good night (1247) Bad night (5254)
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(214): View more from Texas

I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad

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(214): I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad http://tfl.nu/x185

Replies (15) Good night (1126) Bad night (4126)
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(845): View more from New York

Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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(845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w

Replies (2) Good night (2043) Bad night (800)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

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(401): Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/4j6y

Replies (17) Good night (1418) Bad night (755)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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(508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay

Replies (22) Good night (1538) Bad night (849)
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(904): View more from Florida

Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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(904): Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded http://tfl.nu/j9mq

Replies (2) Good night (971) Bad night (526)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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(774): Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap http://tfl.nu/vchr

Replies (3) Good night (1225) Bad night (394)
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(305): View more from Florida

So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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(305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8

Replies (11) Good night (411) Bad night (1703)
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(904): View more from Florida

You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"

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(904): You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!" http://tfl.nu/k8t0

Replies (4) Good night (1256) Bad night (587)
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(406): View more from Montana

its 2pm. u awake yet?

(1-406): View more from Montana

ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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(406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj

Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (621)
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(714): View more from California

Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down

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(714): Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down http://tfl.nu/a62b

Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (199)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway

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(401): I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway http://tfl.nu/g36h

Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (191)

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