Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Life without a bra equals bliss.