We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
