So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
