I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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