I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
