i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Boobs are out for the taking
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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