my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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