There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My first STD was from a foam party
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
