Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.