Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
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Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
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Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.