Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
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so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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