The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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