i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
