I don't think brook has ever known best
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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