I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
