If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
