Will you blow on my dice?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it glows. i had to have it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
