...so i touched it.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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