I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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